On Having that Conversation

I’m feeling a little alone right now because I just tried to have a conversation with my boyfriend and I’m not sure half of what I said. I wanted to talk about being more open and honest with each other about the way we feel because I feel like I try to sugar coat things for him because I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and it’s super easy to make him feel bad about himself. Yes, I know that only he can decide to feel bad about himself, but he tends to get down on himself if I point out any small thing that bothers me about him/our relationship/his behavior (i.e. the fact that I feel like I have to walk on egg shells because every time I point out something that irritates me he freaks the fuck out and gets all sad – of course I say it in nicer words).  Anyway, I think everything came out all weird because I was trying to be so confrontational, and neutral, and speak in weird generalities, and make it about him instead of me. In the end, I think I got my point across and we agreed to be more open with each other, so maybe it was a successful conversation, but somehow I still feel like a bitch, like I made him feel bad, which I didn’t want to do at all. I think I want to keep everyone around me happy; that’s how I get into these messes to begin with.


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